happiness.

i'm lacking it.

i've just been in this super weird funk as of late, and......

well.

it sucks.

because of this funk, i have:

-not yet finished my internship apps

-decided to not pursue KKPsi this semester (despite having rushed it)

-not been sleeping or eating well

-been generally unhappy (despite being surrounded by people who really care about me)

the one thing bothering me the most about this funk is that last point.

i am kind of bummed about KKPsi, but it's better that i decide not to do it this semester.

i want to fully enjoy the process of becoming a "brother" (it's a co-ed music frat)....this semester is already too chaotic for me to fully enjoy it.

anyway, that last point......

i am surrounded by people who love and care about me, but like.....

that only makes me a little happy.

i'm glad i have them, but i'm not 100% happy with myself.

i'm 100% thankful and glad i have them.

i just don't 100% like myself.

this is probably just a seasonal thing.

winter sucks.