it's weird.

i'm posting here for the first time since march 12th.

"wow, what a hiatus."

or, "wow. why am i even back here?"

i'll tell you why.

i feel like i need to announce that i've moved my blog.

you can now find me on tumblr.

sashanako.tumblr.com

why did i move? i've had my tumblr since november 2009, but only started actively using it around this march, when i stopped posting here.

at first, i just used my tumblr to follow other tumblrs i enjoyed (mostly those on the CollegeHumor staff), but then i started using it to dump my feelings somewhere fairly secret to the rest of my own world, but still public enough that a select few could know about how i'm feeling.

that doesn't make any sense.

but anyway. whenever i tried to come back here to post, i'd see my last post from mach 12th where i wrote about how wonderful the Sondre Lerche concert was, and then the post from march 11th where i wrote about how happy i was with life.....and with the boy. and like......

i think i'd like to leave it at that. i'd like to leave you all with some really positive posts.

whenever i felt like i needed to write out all of my feelings....almost like a rant, i'd get really bummed out. anyone reading this would be able to see the very sudden "we like each other!" to "yeah....some things happened and we hardly talk to each other anymore." change in my life.

so, i let tumblr see that change. i'm slightly embarrassed about it, but like....maybe tumblr is the right place to let out a little angst. blogger, at least to me, is a place to share happier stuff.

i've grown attached to my tumblr. i've grown attached to the people i've met on it, and the deeper friendships that have been created. a few of my friends and i (mostly JMU kids) have gotten closer because we know that we're the only ones we're confiding to. or something like that. and there are some really crazy "fuckyeah!" tumblrs that i've grown to love.

i'm still going to be checking other blogger updates from here (i am following quite a few people here, after all), but i doubt i'll be posting here anymore.

so. umm......i'll leave it at this.

Modern Nature...

i found a review about Sondre Lerche's concert at the Maxwell in NJ...

i suppose it was a few days after his concert at the Rock and Roll Hotel in DC (the one i went to with carrie...

and it's perfect.

this part took me back to that crowded room in DC, with all of the adults drinking their PBR, swaying to his music:

Sondre Lerche has a way of being cute that’s a little bit infuriating. Not because it’s tiresome, but because every time he pauses between songs and talks to the crowd, I want to hug him, in the least creepy way possible. He has a way of talking to his fans as if they are his friends....

...he pulls the crowd together, reduces us for a moment to what we really are: people. People in love and people in lust and people confused and people heartbroken—it's evident at the end of his set, when we are all thoroughly spent, and he smiles and introduces one more song, “Modern Nature.” The crowd sings the part of Lillian Samdall, and there’s no better conclusion. We're all for one moment connected to him, to his music, and to each other, and that's pretty awesome.

i loved that part.....the part when we all sang along with him during Modern Nature.

yes, it happened in DC, too. we all sang Lillian Samdall's part. it was quite beautiful.

and made me really happy.

and i'm sure others were really happy at that moment, too.

carrie and i sang along, grinning at each other. it was definitely a great way to start my spring break.

now that i think about it, it happened almost exactly a week ago....sometime after 11PM tonight.

i'm still very happy about it.

cheesy as this may sound, i hope i never forget how i felt while standing in the Rock and Roll Hotel.

lots of good.

things have been abnormally decent lately.

1. there is a male. he likes me. we're happy.

BUT, in all honesty, i was very surprised. it was all rather sudden. but i'm not complaining. i had a huge crush on him last semester.

i wish i was better about keeping up with this/looking back at twitter was easier. i distinctly remember tweeting something along the lines of "indie-genius-hottie switched his seat in human rights. he's sitting next to me now. hot damn!"

september-sasha must be dying. hahaha~

2. I MET NORWEGIAN SINGER-SONGWRITER SONDRE LERCHE.

LAST FRIDAY. WITH CARRIEBOO.

I AM STILL RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY.

AND I THOUGHT I WAS ALREADY REALLY HAPPY ABOUT MATT.

it was quite an adventure to get to the concert. and then sondre didn't start his set until 11PM. and then i met him after midnight. BUT we still had to walk back to Union station. oh lord. Washington, D.C. at night is not like Harrisonburg at night. hahaha~

got my knee stuck in a metro train door (turns out they don't reopen like an elevator door. thankfully, people on the platform got the door open!! and then carrie was able to board the train. not getting separated from carrie/my kneecap, FTW!!)

and we didn't get home until 3AM. BUT IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT. :D

3. it's spring break. been chilling with friends and family all week.

got a new cell phone. had my old hunk of junk since august 2007. i'm content with my new one. still getting used to it.

saw Alice with my parents, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs with sara & mish....

went to the National Zoo with sara, mish, and matthew yesterday....

and i guess i'm just spending the last 2.5 days of break finishing up things? maybe?

i think i might just play it by ear. like i usually do.

urrrr......

the last few days have, on average, sucked.

simply sucked.

i guess starting with sunday.

saturday night was pretty fantastic.

well, fantastic at the time.

as in, "oh hey, i'm going to drink a third of a bottle of 99 peaches BY MYSELF and go to a band party."

it was fun.

got straight boy action for the first time in a long time.

sunday morning, couldn't remember shit.

it's tuesday and i'm still filling in memories.

I'M NOT THAT PERSON. BUT I AM. I HATE IT.

there were some good points and bad points in the long ass story, which i will not type out completely.

all i can say is that it was probably a good thing i threw up.

still have straight boy's hoodie. and people are talking about me.

turns out i drunkenly picked the wrong person.

we all do dumb things.

anyway, i got a lot of crap about it the next day (though there are people that support me because HI WE'RE IN COLLEGE. i love those people)

monday i had two exams (one in french, one in statistics)...

cried a lot on sunday about that (and getting judged)...

they didn't go THAT badly in my mind, but that's what i thought about the exam i took in my american lit class two weeks ago.

and i got a D on it.

so my tuesday morning was FANtastic.

i'm an ENGLISH major. why is there a D at the top of my GENERAL EDUCATION AMERICAN LIT exam!?!?!?

anyway, i felt like an epic fail all day.

BUT. i got an A- on my education exam which i took the same day as the american lit exam.

so.

we win some, we lose some.

i get drunk and have fun.

i get drunk and get reprimanded.

dark and light.

oh goodness.

i'm never drinking as much as i did this past weekend ever again.

speaking of weekend....seeing Twelfth Night at the American Shakespeare Center this weekend with some of my English major girls.

i'm REALLY excited!! :)

we're going to have a great nerdy time. it's going to be so awesome! hahaha

until then, i'll keep reminding myself that everything blows over.

nervous.

i'm so terribly nervous.

my internship app for a certain newsy-radioy place needs to go out this week.

it's terrifying.

but somehow (oh hi, copious amounts of class-cancelling snow!), i managed to crank out some writing....

writing that is apparently pretty good.

i really have no confidence in anything i write. :/

anyway, here is a poem i wrote earlier this week.

enjoy.

***

coffee break

by Sasha Duran

inside the college library’s starbucks

on a sunday afternoon,

the venture club is seated

around the large round table in the back corner,

with their eco-friendly water bottles,

dusty backpacks, and muddy shoes,

sipping on tall frappuccinos

and discussing their upcoming hiking trip

to the mountains surrounding the campus,

not knowing

that a blizzard is on its way.

exhausted, frantic looking students are

rapidly tap-tapping away on their laptops

at their own little tables lining the wall.

sipping,

typing,

sipping some more of that venti americano

with a triple shot of espresso.

four skinny, blonde,

fake-sun-baked girls with shrill voices

are sitting in cozy patterned armchairs,

delighting in gossip from the previous night’s parties,

and half-caf-no-whip-extra-caramel cinnamon dolce lattes,

skinny vanilla lattes with whip and a shot of caramel,
caramel macchiatos with extra whip and even more caramel,

and caramel apple spices.

it’s a wonder

the chairs haven’t broken yet

under the weight of all that caramel.

at various tables,

lovers gaze into the eyes of their better halves over tiny cups of espresso,

old friends catch up over tea,

and new friends get to know each other better over croissants,

while two strangers meet in line trying to decide

what exactly it is they desire

to spend

their four dollars on.

happiness.

i'm lacking it.

i've just been in this super weird funk as of late, and......

well.

it sucks.

because of this funk, i have:

-not yet finished my internship apps

-decided to not pursue KKPsi this semester (despite having rushed it)

-not been sleeping or eating well

-been generally unhappy (despite being surrounded by people who really care about me)

the one thing bothering me the most about this funk is that last point.

i am kind of bummed about KKPsi, but it's better that i decide not to do it this semester.

i want to fully enjoy the process of becoming a "brother" (it's a co-ed music frat)....this semester is already too chaotic for me to fully enjoy it.

anyway, that last point......

i am surrounded by people who love and care about me, but like.....

that only makes me a little happy.

i'm glad i have them, but i'm not 100% happy with myself.

i'm 100% thankful and glad i have them.

i just don't 100% like myself.

this is probably just a seasonal thing.

winter sucks.

oh my goodness.

really really really quick post, because i'm in the middle of reading Benjamin Franklin's biography for American Literature.

(i really prefer early British Literature to early American Literature. i'm sick of historic documents and religious nuts, and Ben Franklin, even though he's a cool guy. it's just REALLY long. i'd rather read Chaucer.)

ANYWAY.

DaveyDanceBlog.

i just need the world to know.....

I LOVE IT.

for some reason, "All Nighter '09: DaveyDanceBlog #64" has been marked as not viewed.....

UNTIL TONIGHT.

HOLY CRAP.

WHERE HAS HE BEEN ALL MY LIFE!?!?!?!

soulmates?

dancing like a nut in public?

tight pants?

nerdy?

YES.

PLEASE.

LOVE.

i haven't been this excited in a very long time.

here is #64.

DaveyDanceBlog -64- NYC Union Square from Pheasant Plucker on Vimeo.

more Ben Franklin time.

i want to be as cool as Davey from now on.

a few things...

that have made me laugh on this really dark and dreary day.

1. middle of last week, i went to the band office to turn in my money/RSVP for the MRD Ball. i went with amanda, we turned our stuff in together. i even said hello to Connie (the secretary)! this past weekend, i turned in andrea's form with her money (which was actually my money. girl needs to pay me back. haha)....

i got an email from Connie today saying that i didn't pay. actually, there were almost 30 other names on that list, along with mine. everyone is like "wtf." right now.

my reaction: HAHAHAHA. OH GOODNESS. THEY WOULD.

i laughed a lot. it really shouldn't be that funny, but it is to me (the irony is killing me).

but yeah, i called Connie, was like "i turned it in with Amanda and i paid for Andrea...."

she looked them up, saw they paid, i told her that i had my money in an envelope folded with my RSVP....she said she'd be on the lookout for it (she didn't separate the money and forms....KKPsi did.) and marked me down as PAID, since i had witnesses.

i'm going to visit her tomorrow morning just to confirm. :]

it would happen to me. hahaha~

2. "you look a little too happy about skew." - my stats professor.

i was picturing a certain music major (codename: Squidward) shirtless during class.

luckily, i can sometimes be quick on my feet, and my professor has a sense of humor.

"i get it! skewed to the right means skinny on the right! skew. skinny. skew. skinny!"

but yeah. Squidward with his shirt off.....the only reason why i miss marching band. (but not the only reason why i miss hot weather. it's ass cold today AND dreary, AND we're under ANOTHER winter storm advisory. freaking a.)

3. my MRD Ball dress is beautimous. i'm very happy about it and very excited for friday evening.

4. i can play a scale on the flute!! learned B flat and C on monday night, the rest of the scale yesterday. i'm excited. maybe i'll try to get a practice room tonight or tomorrow afternoon for a little piano or flute time. (apparently we're not allowed to play in the dorms....even though our resident music major is allowed to.....and that the kids downstairs can blast their music as loud as they like. doesn't make sense, but whatev.) my pinky kind of hurts though. amanda's flute has open holes, so playing is a little harder....i'm doing pretty okay though!

5. "Vampire Weekend Lands First No. 1 Album"

that's all for today. :]

i think ur a contra.

and i think i fail at keeping up with this.

fall semester ended fairly well.

grades were only so-so, but i had a lot of fun.

[i'm writing this for my own health.]

i was really missing marching band up until yesterday.

we had rehearsal from 7-9 for the governor's parade tomorrow....

and we have rehearsal again from 5-7 today....

yeah.

i'm hella out of shape.

and still just as awkward as ever.

but....Vampire Weekend put out a new album earlier this week, so i've been pretty content.

i can't stop listening to it.

maybe i'll try really hard to keep up with this semester,

but with a lack of marching band,

my life is pretty boring.

i really should have recorded everything from last semester.

ahh, oh well.

what to do until rehearsal......?